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The Upside Down Life #4 – Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

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I. Intro

Matthew 5:4; Hebrews 12:14-17

Today we will continue in our series The Upside Down Life, looking at the first 16 verses of Matt 5.  Today we will do some review work and unpack a few concepts in Matt 5 and then we will move into Heb 12.

(Review) Both Gene and Chris did an excellent job defining the words “blessed” (and what it means to be “poor.”)  Those notes are available here on the blog…

Review “poor in spirit”…

  • Two weeks ago Chris said being “poor in spirit” is seeing our desperate need for God.
  • And then last week Gene said some pretty heavy things…
    • He said that as a church we are to be thankful that SBF has been privileged to go through all the struggles we have. God must be thrilled that there is somebody here who is broken and hungry for more… (Heavy words…a perfect message to begin our week-long fast as a church).
    • Gene went on to say SBF has lost pastors, people, programs, reputation, visible success, and a downward trend in the bank account…  [God comforts the afflicted – and afflicts the comfortable]
    • Your church is flat broke, you do not have it all together, you do not have it all figured out, and you cannot muscle, or buy, your way out of this one.
    • Blessed are those bankrupt in spirit, because they are entering the eternal reserves of the reservoirs of the God of true riches.
    • As a church we’ve been taken out to the woodshed…we’ve been spanked. Are you glad yet?  [I have a tremendous amount of respect for those of you who have stayed.]

Where do we go from “bankrupt in spirit”?  We mourn…

Today, we will look at 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted”

Once we see and acknowledge our deep spiritual poverty, it gives way to a deep and utter repentance.  (There’s a difference between repentance and “relentance.”)

There is a transforming grief, or repentance, that surfaces – not only for our own lives, but also for the injustice, greed, and suffering that grips our world.  (“Meanwhile we groan.”)

I’ve titled the message this morning, The Unlikely Route To Joy (borrowed from a chapter heading in Dan Allender’s’ book Wounded Heart).

  • In order to become rich, we need to acknowledge and own our poverty.
  • And in order to know “joy inexpressible and full of glory” (1 Pet 1:8) we must mourn.  This is the essence of living the upside down life (or counterintuitive).

I would like us to refer to mourning as a lifestyle of repentance.

For those of us who have read Pete Scazzero’s book, The Emotionally Healthy Church, we remember that the 3rd principle of the EHC is to live in brokenness and vulnerability.

This means living and leading out of our failure and pain, questions and struggles…[1]

This is how Paul led.  In 2 Cor 12 – Paul speaks of being caught-up to the third heaven – and then he shares about his thorn in the flesh… “a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! 8 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”

Dr. Dan Allender – “An about face movement from denial and rebellion to truth and surrender… Repentance involves the response of humble hunger, bold movement, and wild celebration when faced with the reality of our fallen state and the grace of God…It is a shift in perspective as to where life is found…It is melting into the warm arms of God, received when it would be so understandable to be spurned.” (Wounded Heart)

**Mourning, or lifestyle repentance, is living WITH our failures, but not UNDER them.

II. BODY

With that said please turn to Hebrews 12…

If we had to boil down the book of Hebrews to a one-word description, the word would be perseverance. It is written specifically for a group of Christians who were about to quit.

Vs. 14-17 are full of some very specific admonitions to help us with engaging in a lifestyle of repentance…

14Pursue peace with all [people], and the sanctification without which no one will see [to perceive, to know, to become acquainted with by experience] the Lord.

15See to it [Looking diligently – episkapao] that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled [stained];

16that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.

17For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance [NIV – he could bring about no change of mind], though he sought for it with tears.

This is a heavy passage: Esau found no place for repentance – even though he sought for it with tears.  (What are we supposed to do with this text?)

This passage offers us some insight into the reasons for Esau’s inability to come to a place of true repentance – and I believe it will help us to consider some possible issues that may be keeping us from fully knowing the privilege of repentance.

Listed in this passage are (at least) 6 admonitions that will move us toward embracing a lifestyle of true repentance…

1.  Pursue peace with all people.

Pursue: to run swiftly [NIV –  Make every effort]

Peace: from a primary verb eirēnē (harmonized relationships)

“If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”  Matthew 5:23,24 (NAS)

Roms 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

(In a few weeks we’ll be talking about Mat 5:9 – Peacemaker vs. peacekeeper.)

I once flew from Reno, NV to Tulsa, OK and then rented a car and drove 3 hours just to ask someone’s forgiveness after reading this passage and taking it to heart.

2.  Pursue sanctification.

Sanctification: hallowed [NIV – Make every effort… to be holy] The Lord’s Prayer (Mat 6) hagiasmos (Heb 12 – noun), hagiazō (Mat 6 – verb)

We have positional sanctification and progressive sanctification…

The Gospel Is for Believers.  We Christians need to hear the gospel all of our lives because it is the gospel that continues to remind us that our day-to-day acceptance with the Father is not based on what we do for God but on remembering what Christ did for us.  (That is what communion is all about…)

**Esau was rejected by God because he steadfastly refused to serve the purpose of God and instead served his lust for the immediate and the tangible.

3.  Pursue grace.

“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God.” (v.15)

Grace: All that God is lavishly poured into you. If God has acted lavishly toward you, could you not be lavish to others?  Or yourself??

Jerry Bridges, in his masterpiece says, “The idea portrayed here is analogous to the ocean waves crashing upon the beach. One wave has hardly disappeared before another arrives.[2]

Pursue the truth in love (Eph 4:15).

“See to it that…no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”  (v.15)

Notice the word, “many.”

Like a small root that grows into a great tree, bitterness springs up in our hearts and overshadows even our deepest relationships.

A “bitter root” comes when we allow disappointment or expectations to grow into resentment, or when we nurse grudges over past hurts.

Eph 4:15: But speaking the truth in love we are to grow up…” In my view this passage speaks to the epitome of what it means to be spiritually and emotionally healthy

5.  Pursue purity.

“See to it that…there be no immoral…person like Esau.” (v.16)

pornos – male prostitute.  Again, Esau steadfastly refused to humble himself to serve the purpose of God.  Instead he served his lust for the immediate and the tangible.

6.  Pursue God.

Instead of being godless (or, “unhallowed, profane” – Vine’s]

Esau found no place for repentance (metanoia), though he sought for it with tears.

We usually associate tears with repentance.  And it’s true that tears very often accompany true repentance.  But here we have the instance of Esau crying for repentance but not finding it.  Why?  Esau was in “relentance,” not true repentance.

III.CONCLUSION

“Repent therefore and return, that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”   Acts 3:19 (NAS)

Nothing will cause a renewed soul to hate sin so much as a realization of God’s grace; nothing will move him to mourn so genuinely over his sins as a sense of Christ’s dying love. It is that which breaks his heart: the realization that there is so much in him that is opposed to Christ. But a life of holiness is a life of faith (the heart turning daily to Christ), and the fruits of faith are genuine repentance, true humility, praising God for His infinite patience and mercy, pantings after conformity to Christ.  —The Doctrine of Sanctification by A.W. Pink.

[1] EHC: 110.

[2] Jerry Bridges, Transforming Grace.

Lifestyle Repentance

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This is an outline for a sermon to be delivered on 10/10/10.  This outline is way too long for the time allotted, so I am placing it here for reference.

I. INTRO

A.   Brennan Manning has said, “The temptation of the age is to look good without being good.”

B.    Before we get any further it’s important to distinguish between life-style repentance and conversion repentance…

1.     Christian conversion, or salvation, occurs when genuine repentance and sincere faith in Jesus intersect.

2.     These are not two separate actions – but one motion with two parts:

a.     As we turn to Christ for salvation we turn away from the sin that we are asking Jesus Christ to forgive us from.

b.     Neither repentance nor faith come first – they must come at the same time.

3.     Repentance and faith are two sides of the same coin.[1]

C.    So, there is an initial repentance (with faith) that leads to salvation, but what does life-style repentance look like in the life of a believer?

D.   The Beatitudes seem to affirm this…Mat 5

3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, [who see their need for God]
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, [this a call to a lifestyle of repentance]
for they will be comforted.

E.    For those of us who have read Pete Scazzero’s book, The Emotionally Healthy Church, we remember that the 3rd principle of the EHC is to live our lives in brokenness and vulnerability.

1.     Scazzero says this means living (and leading) out of our failure and pain, and out of our questions and struggles…[2] (Did you know that the words intimacy and intestine come from the same root word… share your guts. This is a picture of what the church is to be.)

2.     At best, life-style repentance is counter intuitive to our normal way of thinking.

3.     One of my favorite authors on the subject of life-style repentance is Dan Allender.

a.     In one of his books Allender relates repentance to the “unlikely route to joy.” A more complete description of his premise would include 3 conditions: (1) complete honesty (Larry Crabb – integrity is not pretending about anything), (2) repentance, and (3) bold love.  This is what he says about repentance:

b.     “Repentance is an about face movement from denial and rebellion to truth and surrender…it involves the response of humble hunger, bold movement, and wild celebration when faced with the reality of our fallen state and the grace of God…It is a shift in perspective as to where life is found…It is melting into the warm arms of God, received when it would be so understandable to be spurned.”

F.    Some definitions:

1.     “Some of us will wear ourselves out trying to change ourselves before we
realize that it is not about fixing; it is about letting go…[3]

2.     CS Lewis describes repentance as the “process of surrender…full speed astern.”[4]

3.      “A shift in the direction of our soul from self-protection to trusting love… The richest love grows in the soil of an unbearable disappointment with life… The fruit of repentance is a changed style of relating that replaces self-protective maneuvering with loving involvement.”[5]

4.     Tim Keller refers to “gospel repentance.”[6]

a.     With reference to the parable of the Prodigal Sons (in Luke 15), Keller says that we don’t only need to repent for things we have done wrong, but that we also need to repent of the things we’ve done right! – or, under our own power. He notes that the older brother said he had never disobeyed his father and his father did not dispute this. Keller calls the sin of seeking to be our own Lord and Savior.

b.     The purpose of gospel repentance is to repeatedly tap into the joy of our union with Christ in order to weaken our need to do anything contrary to God’s heart.

5.     Thomas Watson, English Puritan (ca. 1620-1686) wrote a helpful treatise on repentance. He said, “Repentance is a grace of God’s Spirit whereby a sinner is inwardly humbled and visibly reformed.”[7]

6.     Repentance is not a decision of the will to do right instead of wrong. It’s an internal shift in our perceived source of life. [8] –Dan Allender

G.   “Repent therefore and return, that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” Acts 3:19 (NAS)

H.   Repentance is one of the great privileges of the unconverted as well as the Christian.  Why do we usually postpone repentance until after nothing else seems to be working??

II. BODY

A.   Hebrews 12:14-17 (NAS)

B.    The overarching theme of Hebrews is that the implications of the Christ Event are superior to Judaism.[9]

C.    The author moves seamlessly between teaching doctrine and exhorting (meaning to draw near – cheerleader) (or application). This is distinctive from Paul’s style, which is to teach doctrine in the first section and save exhortation/application for the second section.

1.     Context: If we had to boil down the book of Hebrews to a one-word description, the word would be perseverance. It is thought to have been written by a pastor to his congregation, who were struggling to hang in there.

2.     As we move into Hebrews 12, we find the first half of the chapter speaks of God’s admonition to fix our eyes on Jesus, submit ourselves to God’s instructive disciple (disciple?), and strengthen one another. Verses 14-17 instructs us in how to do engage, specifically, in a lifestyle of repentance…

14Pursue peace with all [men], and the sanctification without which no one will see [to see with perceptive insight – the author is speaking about an Aha! moment] the Lord.

15See to it [Looking diligently – episkapao for 3 things:] (1) that no one comes short of the grace of God; that (2) no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled [stained];

16 (3) that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.

17For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing [Esau was double-minded – we tend to want the glory of God w/o the discipline of God], he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance [NIV – he could bring about no change of mind], though he sought for it with tears.

D.   In the words of Jesus (Matt 6:24) we sometimes get stuck trying to serve two masters. We seem to want God’s blessing w/o responsibility…

E.    To quote one commentator: “The only one who experiences the radiance of joy and light is the one who chooses a single goal with a single eye.”[10]

F.    Listed in this passage are (at least) 6 instructive admonitions to biblically engage a lifestyle of repentance.

1.     Pursue peace with all (v.14)

a.     Pursue: to run swiftly [NIV – Make every effort]

b.     Peace: from a primary verb eiro (to join or bind together that which has been separated).

“If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” Matthew 5:23,24 (NAS)

“…As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Roms 12:18

c.     Are you a peacemaker or peacekeeper? (Mat 5:9)

d.     We tend to think of peace as the absence of conflict, yet biblical SHALOM is MUCH more than that…SHALOM means the knitting together of God, humankind, and all creation in equity, fulfillment, and delight.[11]

e.     I once flew from Reno, NV to Tulsa, OK and then rented a car and drove 3 hours just to ask someone’s forgiveness after reading Matthew 5:23-24 and taking it to heart.

2.     Pursue sanctification (v.14)

a. Sanctification: hallowed [NIV – and to be holy] The Lord’s Prayer (Mat 6) hagiasmos (Heb 12:14 – noun), hagiazō (Mat 6 – verb)

b.     The Lord’s Prayer is a prayer for and about sanctification…

c.     The prayer Jesus taught us is a prayer of community and reconciliation, belonging to a new kind of people who have left the land of “me” … Here our God teaches us the interconnectedness of grace and liberation in a new social order.[12]

d.     “Hallowed be your name,” then, is a prayer that God would teach us to live a new way of life…

e.     …We form habits of hoping that our lives will look more like God’s life. And at the same time, we give ourselves over to an extended family of all God’s children, in which we learn to give ourselves as Christ gave himself for us.

f.      As we’ve talked with God this way, we’ve also begun to see that we gain a community of others who are learning to give themselves for us. Which is another way of saying that we find our lives in Christ. We become the kind of community that is the answer to our request: Make your name holy, Father, by bringing your kingdom here on earth. Christian community is the gift of a life that is worthy of God’s name. Forgetting our- selves, we become the sort of joyful people who hallow God’s name by how we live with one another.

g.     When we see God’s Name as hallowed, it “lift[‘s] us right out of the prison of the self.”[13] (217)

h.     “…Just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification.”   Romans 6:19 (NAS)

i.      Sanctification means to be set apart for God’s purpose.

j.      Notice the word “present.” That’s where it starts – it’s not about ability, its about surrender.

k.     Esau was rejected by God because he steadfastly refused to serve the purpose of God and instead served his lust for the immediate and the tangible.

3.     Pursue grace

a.     “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God.” (v.15)

b.     Grace: All that God is lavishly poured into you. If God has acted lavishly toward you, could you not be lavish to others?

c.     Why do we call grace amazing? Grace is amazing because it works against the grain of common sense… Realistic common sense tells you that you are too weak, too harassed, too human to change for the better; grace gives you power to send you on the way to being a better person…[14]

  • Saving grace to us
  • Sanctifying grace in us
  • Serving grace through us

d.     Jerry Bridges, in his masterpiece Transforming Grace says, “The idea portrayed here is analogous to the ocean waves crashing upon the beach. One wave has hardly disappeared before another arrives.[15]

e.     We don’t need a changed life, we need an exchanged life…

f.      Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz said, grace is living in a system where nobody owes anybody anything…We don’t mind giving charity, but we don’t like being [God’s] charity…[Miller asks himself] why would I forsake the riches of God’s righteousness for the dung of my own ego? …Our role in our relationship with God is to humbly receive God’s unconditional love. [16]

g.     “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age.” Titus 2:11-12 (NAS)

  • “Disciplining us…”
  • Deposit grace into each other’s account.

4.      Pursue the truth in love

“See to it that…no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.” (v.15)

a.     Notice the word, “many.”

b.     Esau despised his birthright. (Gen 25:34b); So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau said to himself, ‘The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’ (Gen 27:41)

c.     Like a small root that grows into a great tree, bitterness springs up in our hearts and overshadows even our deepest relationships.

d.     A “bitter root” comes when we allow disappointment to grow into resentment, or when we nurse grudges over past hurts. Bitterness brings with it jealousy, dissension, and immorality.

e.     “God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love – like Christ in everything.  We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do.” Ephesians 4:15,16 (The Message)

  • In my view this passage speaks to the epitome of what it means to be emotionally healthy – the capacity to speak the truth in love…
  • Peter Scazerro speaks to this in his book, The Emotionally Healthy Church – as differentiated people we fully enter into another’s world while holding on to ourselves and live in the tension of the two.

4.     Pursue purity

a.     “See to it that…there be no immoral…person like Esau.” (v.16)

b.     pornos – when we lust, we stop loving.

c.     “I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. But I am afraid, lest as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds should be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 11:2b-3 (NAS)

5.    Pursue God

a.     Instead of being godless (or, “unhallowed, profane” – Vine’s]

b.     “In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success.” Proverbs 3:6 (TLB)

c.     Esau found no place for repentance (metanoia), though he sought for it with tears.

d.     We usually associate tears with repentance.  And it’s true that tears very often accompany true repentance.  But here we have the instance of Esau crying for repentance but not finding it.  Why?  Esau was in relentance, not repentance.

e.     This may be similar to the difference between Peter and Judas on the evening before the crucifixion of Jesus…

  • Both men committed the most grievous sins of their lives that night – Judas betraying Jesus and Peter denying Jesus.
  • Yet Judas committed suicide and Peter was ordained into the ministry about 2 weeks later.  What’s up with that???
  • Judas relented (or lamented), while Peter repented.
  • Judas said “no” to forgiveness, while Peter said “yes” to forgiveness.
  • Judas said “no” to the future, while Peter said “yes” to the future.

b.     I want my heart to remain soft and pliable before the Lord through humility, honesty, and integrity – quick to confess and forsake my sins.

c.     I want to live my life in grateful surrender to the plans and purposes that God has ordained for my life.

d.     I want to experience the blessings of being in right relationship with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, as well as exalted joy and true happiness – through the privilege of repentance.

III. CONCLUSION

A.   The truest fruit of repentance is always hope…which is not optimism; rather it is moving forward in anticipation of redemption in spite of the improbability of rescue.  (Dan Allender, Sabbath: The Ancient Practices.)

B.     The results, or the fruits, of repentance are a series of freeing movements in our lives that return us to the wonder of the cross.[17]

C.    How do we live with our failures? [I will share how I seek to live with my failures at the conclusion of the message.]

[1] Wayne Gudem, Systematic Theology, p. 713.

[2] EHC: 110.

[3] Ruth Haley Barton, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: 53.

[4] CS Lewis, Mere Christianity: 44.

[5] Larry Crabb, Inside Out: 213-214, 196.

[6] Tim Keller, Prodigal God: 78-79.

[7] Thomas Watson, The Doctrine of Repentance, Banner of Truth 1999: 18.

[8] Wounded Heart Workbook

[9] The Christ-Event is fivefold: (1) the virgin birth, (2) the miraculous ministry, (3) the shameful death, (4) the glorious resurrection, and (5) the triumphant accession of Jesus. Each of these facets of the incarnation, over a 33-year period of time, inaugurate – or establish – the kingdom of God upon the earth.

[10] Louis Evans Jr., Hebrews: The Communicator’s Commentary Vol. 10, Word 1985: 233.

[11] Neal Plantinga

[12] Shane Clairborne & Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, Becoming the Answer To Our Prayers: Prayer for Ordinary Radicals, IVP 2009:18-31.

[13] Simone Weil, Waiting for God, Harper 2009: 217.

[14] Lewis Smedes, “How Can It Be All Right When Everything Is All Wrong?” Christianity Today-Vol. 39, #13.

[15] Jerry Bridges, Transforming Grace.

[16] Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz: 83-85.

[17] Dan B. Allender, Tremper Longman, Dreams and Demands: 62.

Developing Leaders Through Building Healthy, Proactive Teams

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For a leadership training I’m facilitating tomorrow…

“Apollos and I are working as a team, with the same aim, though each of us will be rewarded for his own hard work.” 1 Corinthians 3:8 (TLB, emphasis added)

Leadership and team development are two sides of the same coin. It is nearly impossible to have one without the other. Additionally, there is a difference between a minister and a leader. Effective ministers build people; effective leaders build groups, or teams, of people. The following exercise will focus on developing our leadership capacity through building healthy and proactive teams.

Simply stated, leadership means influence. Within the church context our aim is to influence people for the (subversive) cause of Christ – to build and grow the kingdom of God. That is always the goal. The fruit, or effect, is that new ministries will be started in the local church context and existing ministries will undergo a constant transformational process through regular renewal and teambuilding. Effective leaders know how to maximize influence opportunities by intentionally equipping and empowering others. Ephesians 4:11-13 clearly calls leaders to equip people so the body of Christ can grow to maturity. (Biblical equipping includes both repairing and preparing people.)

In Developing the Leader Within You, John Maxwell states: “The one who influences others to follow only is a leader with certain limitations. The one who influences others to lead others is a leader without limitations.” Equipping, or empowering, people change ministers into leaders.

While most leaders see the importance of equipping others, many leaders struggle with how to put biblical principles into practice. Following are 10 thoughts on equipping people and developing a healthy and proactive team.

1. Define and communicate responsibilities that challenge. Communicate the big picture and how people fit into it. It is much easier to put a jigsaw puzzle together if we can see the completed picture on the puzzle box. It is important for people to have a clear picture of the goals and objectives and how they fit into the plan.

Next communicate specific responsibilities to the team members. What do you expect from them? Provide a clear ministry description and allow their input. A good ministry description states specific responsibilities, how much authority the team members have, who they are accountable to, what benefits they have, and the length of time they are to serve. I generally employ three overlapping criteria in generating ministry descriptions:

  • Spiritual gifting
  • Holy passions
  • What needs to get done

Help people take ownership of the goals, tasks, and responsibilities. Encourage their input and provide the opportunity for them to set their own goals as part of the total plan. Help people to develop life skills, not just “church” skills.

People who are challenged to become great — and are given the opportunity to do so — usually succeed.

In The Leadership Challenge by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, Edward Lawler III and Patricia Renwick list several factors that contribute to people’s excitement and motivation:

  • The chance to do something that makes you feel good about yourself.
  • The chance to accomplish something worthwhile.
  • The chance to learn new things.
  • The opportunity to develop new skills.
  • The amount of freedom you have to accomplish your responsibility.
  • The chance to do the things that you do best.

In the same book psychologist David Berlow speculates that people find meaning and enthusiasm when opportunities provide the following:

  • A chance to be tested, to make it on one’s own.
  • A chance to take part in a social experiment.
  • A chance to do something well.
  • A chance to do something good.
  • A chance to change the way things are.

2. Give authority commensurate to the responsibility. One of the most frequent complaints of team members is that they are given responsibility without corresponding authority. Leaders need to be willing to trust those they ask to do a job by giving them the authority necessary to do the job. How much authority should be given? Enough to get the job done. This authority should be communicated to those with whom the leaders work.

Once we have given the job and the authority, we must not short-circuit the process. Do not permit those relating to a different team member to come directly to you. This will only frustrate team members and set them up to fail.

Increase authority when performance earns it and responsibility requires it. As people increase in skills and effectiveness, increase their authority. This will raise morale and increase the effectiveness of the overall team.

3. Establish standards for excellence. It is most helpful when every team has a set of realistic operating standards. Some specific standards that will increase team effectiveness might include these:

  • We see ourselves, first and foremost, as servant-leaders.
  • We see ourselves as “inviters and includers” at all-church events – creatively serving and recruiting people into ministry opportunities.
  • We honor our commitments.
  • We believe in being people of developmental character and integrity.
  • We are faithful to our responsibilities.
  • We are wise stewards of our time, talents, and resources.
  • We agree that conflict and disagreement are inevitable, but that we can disagree agreeably.
  • We work together as a team (basic stages: forming -> storming -> norming -> performing).
  • We are committed to life-long learning (disciple means learner).
  • We are committed to results, not just performance.
  • We aim to respect the property of other ministries at the church facility and go the extra mile to communicate &/or seek permission – and return the property after use.

As leaders, we set the example (for better or for worse). The standards will become team standards only when others see us maintaining them.

4. Make training and mentoring a priority. Train first-and-foremost in basic life skills as defined in Scripture. We want to equip and train people in spiritual, social, intellectual, emotional, ecological, and physical health practices. Training is the key to an effective team. No team is effective without proactive training and practice (i.e., mentoring/discipleship). An effective leader never does the job alone. Churches that are in decline have leaders who see their jobs as doing the ministry for the people. However, in growing churches, leaders equip and mobilize people for the work of ministry.

Use a variety of methods to make training an ongoing process. Training can be accomplished through several distinct methodologies: intentional mentoring, on-the-job training, in the classroom, online, in team meetings – to name a few. The essence of an effective training process is the same process Jesus employed to train the disciples (sometimes referred to as the “discipleship loop”):

  • I do it.
  • I do it, and you watch.
  • You do it, and I watch.
  • You do it, and I give feedback (commonly referred to as a “debrief”).
  • You do it, and begin training someone else.

5. Provide the skill training and the proactive communication people need to succeed. People need pertinent and timely information about organizational goals, plans, and changes. Workers are motivated when they know what is happening in the organization. It makes them feel respected and valuable, helps them desire to do a better job, and empowers them to do a better job. Without skill training and proactive communication people cannot take responsibility, will not be as creative, and will not be as productive.

6. Provide thoughtful and appropriate feedback (positive + negative). Regularly reinforce positive performance. Compliments, cards, notes, emails, rewards, and additional opportunities and advancement are some ways to reinforce excellent performance. Feedback should be tailored to the person, performance, and situation. Morale and effectiveness increase when people receive regular feedback.

When it is necessary to confront or clarify feedback, keep in mind these guidelines:

  • Confront privately, not publicly.
  • Deal with a “situation” as soon as possible.
  • Address only one issue at a time, and be specific.
  • Ask clarifying questions (help me to understand…).
  • Allow for the person to take responsibility.
  • Discuss only what the person can do something about.
  • Direct your critique to the action, not the person.
  • Avoid sarcasm and anger.
  • Sandwich criticism between compliments.

7. Recognize and reward efforts and achievements. We get what we reward. Make heroes of the people you work with. Public recognition and rewards are essential. Shine the spotlight on accomplishments. Coffee shop gift certificates, awards, speeches, plaques, and recognition in newsletters are just a few ways to show gratitude for accomplishments. It’s been said that everyone has an invisible sign hung around our necks that says, PMMFI (pum-fee) – an acrostic for: Please Make Me Feel Important. Recognition does that and builds a better team. Guidelines for recognizing and rewarding efforts and achievements include:

  • Tailor recognition to the person and the achievement.
  • Make recognition timely.
  • Recognize people, as well as their accomplishments.
  • Recognize them as members of a team, as well as individuals.
  • Make sure the recognition conveys sincere appreciation.

8. Trust your team. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Trust [people], and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.” Building trusting relationships is essential. A leader can demonstrate trust in many ways:

  • Be sensitive to needs, interests, and concerns.
  • Listen to ideas, dreams, and plans.
  • Delegate, or trust, with significant assignments or responsibilities.
  • Share your dreams, visions, and plans.
  • Allow the team to be a part of the goal-setting and problem-solving process.
  • Be honest and open about your own mistakes and vulnerabilities.

Distinguish between trust in character and trust in ability. Some have strong, mature character but little ability. Others have less mature character by great ability. Trusting people at the highest degree possible helps them develop a higher level of both character and ability.

9. Give permission to fail. View failure as a growing experience – it is the fodder of innovation. True failure is when we don’t learn from the experience. Establish some guidelines for failure: It is OK to make a mistake. It is OK to fail if we are doing our best. When we fail, we can talk about what went wrong, what we can learn, and how to do better. Knowing what NOT to do is just as important as knowing what TO do. J

When team members know they are expected to succeed but that it is OK to fail, they are more creative and willing to risk. This creates a positive environment for a team. When people experiment and take calculated risks in their responsibilities, morale increases and results are greater.

10. Treat others with respect. Treating team members with respect increases motivation. People work best when they feel valued and respected. Demonstrate your commitment and loyalty the same way you expect others to be committed and loyal to you as the leader.

In Diane Tracy’s 10 Steps to Empowerment: A Common-Sense Guide to Managing People, J.C. Staehle lists — in order of importance — primary causes of discontent among workers that leaders can avoid:

  • Failure to give credit for suggestions.
  • Failure to correct grievances.
  • Failure to encourage.
  • Criticism of employees in front of other people.
  • Failure to ask employees their opinions.
  • Failure to inform employees of their progress.
  • Favoritism.

A leader can show respect for team members by asking for their suggestions, keeping them informed, treating them fairly, encouraging them, and acknowledging their accomplishments.

Begin today to put these 10 thoughts into practice, and your team will become a team that is healthy, holy, and powerful to accomplish MPVCC’s full redemptive potential.

Reflection Questions (to be the basis for dialogue at this Saturday’s LT meeting):

  1. What would you strongly affirm or emphasize in this training document?
  2. Is the idea of a difference between a minister and a leader new to you? How do you feel about it?
  3. Of the 10 thoughts, in which are you currently most proficient?
  4. Of the 10 thoughts, in which are you currently not proficient?
  5. What would you add to this training document (what’s missing)?

The 10 Symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality

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Linda and I would like to start a time-defined group in Santa Barbara to develop some relationships and consider the topic of emotionally healthy spirituality.  We anticipate using Peter Scazzero‘s book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.  The following is a quick overview of an article he wrote…

A person can grow emotionally healthy without Christ. I can think of a number of non-Christian people who are more loving, balanced and civil than many church members I know. At the same time a person can be really into prayer, silence, Scripture, and other Xian disciplines and be emotionally immature and socially maladjusted.  It is the 2 together – emotional health and contemplative spirituality – that release great power to transform our spiritual lives, our small groups and our churches.

The pathway out of this disconnect is radical. That is, it very likely cuts to the root of your entire approach to following Jesus. Trimming a few branches by, for example, attending a prayer retreat or adding a couple of new spiritual disciplines to an already crowded life will not be enough. The enormity of the problem is such that only a revolution in our following of Jesus will bring about the lasting, profound change we long for in our lives.

Before I prescribe this pathway, it is essential for us to clearly identify the primary symptoms of emotionally unhealthy spirituality that continue to wreck havoc in our personal lives and our churches. The following are the top ten symptoms indicating if I am suffering from a bad case of emotionally unhealthy spirituality.

  1. Using God to run from God (e.g. applying Scripture selectively to suit my own purposes, not me doing God’s will.
  2. Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness, and fear (e.g. not being honest with myself and/or others about the feelings, hurts and pains beneath the surface of my life).
  3. Dying to the wrong things (e.g. denying healthy, God-given desires and pleasures of life (friendships, joy, music, beauty, laughter, nature) while finding it difficult to die to my self-protectiveness, defensiveness, a lack of vulnerability and judgmentalism).
  4. Denying the past’s impact on the present (e.g. not considering how my family of origin and significant  people/events from my past have shaped my present).
  5. Dividing life into “secular” and “sacred” compartments (e.g.  compartmentalizing God to “Christian activities” while usually forgetting about him when I am working, shopping, studying or recreating).
  6. Doing for God instead of being with God (e.g. evaluating my spirituality based on how much I am doing for God).
  7. Spiritualizing away conflict (e.g. Missing out on true peace by smoothing over disagreements, burying tensions and avoiding conflict – rather than disrupting the false peace like Jesus).
  8. Covering over brokenness, weakness, and failure (e.g. not speaking freely about my weaknesses, failures and mistakes).
  9. Living without limits (e.g. “trying to do it all” or “bite off more than I can chew”).
  10. Judging the spiritual journeys of others (e.g. finding myself occupied and bothered by the faults of others).

What God did in our lives spilled out into the church immediately, beginning with our staff team, then our elder board and eventually the rest of our leadership.

The result has been a rippling effect, very slowly, through the entire church.

Beginning with the staff and elders, interns, ministry and small group leaders– directly and indirectly–we have intentionally integrated the principles that are explained more fully in The Emotionally Healthy Church (Zondervan 2003) and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (Nelson, 2006).

Once you go through the door and leave what I am calling “emotionally unhealthy spirituality,” there is no turning back. It is the beginning of a journey that will change your life, your marriage, your church and, ultimately, your ministry!

To see the full article click here.