A Biblical Response To Each Dimension (3 of 3)

3. How To Be A Non-Anxious Presence In the Midst of Conflict To Help People Listen Well and Own Their Own Issues

The need to be strong, right, in control, and successful is so patently rooted in American evangelicalism that it is no wonder that our church members are the same way. If the interim comes in exactly the same way it can be like shaking nitroglycerin. “I’m here and I’ve got the answer, you can all relax now!” Who are we trying to kid? Unfortunately, this can be a real temptation to feel this way but it would not be an emotionally healthy way to respond.[1]

1. Maintain a “shepherd’s heart.” Having been hurt by the Church we still love the Church.
2. Walk in brokenness and humility. This flies in the face of our evangelical culture. In our attempts at being vulnerable, in various interactions as well as from the pulpit, we will have people use them against us. But without brokenness and and humility there is no blessing.
3. Lovingly state (and remind people as necessary) that you are not the problem. While you certainly have your own problems the current problems in the church were there before you got there.
4. Self differentiate, which involves knowing who you are and who you are not (in relation to others) and being able to act with the knowledge of who you are even when the anxiety of others tempts you not to.^[2]

[1] Miles: 15.8-15.9.

[2] Adapted from Failure of Nerve: 236.

A Biblical Response To Each Dimension (2 of 3)

2. How To Establish Scriptural Guidelines for Healthy Interaction?

• Your contract needs to stipulate that you will have enough authority to do your job. Having said that, go in listening and build as much relational authority as you can. Exercising positional authority should be the last resort.
• Teach, train, and model biblical conflict resolution
• Lovingly but directly confront gossip and triangulation
• Move congregants to be willing to own their own issues instead of focusing on the issues of those they are in conflict with (see Matthew 7:5). Conducting a Sacred Assembly is often helpful in turning a corner into a new season of fruitful ministry.

The Role of the Sermon In Conflicted Congregations

In an interim context using old sermons is often not helpful because they may fail to address the root or core issues in a conflicted church. The aim of preaching is to be faithful to the text and prophetic to the context.

• “And so the resident minor poet of a congregation has to be disciplined to take the time necessary not only to dig for the mystery of a God with us, but also to write the poetic sermon in such a way as to invite the congregation to slow down. There is a reason why churches don’t have drive-through windows. No one grabs the Incarnation on the run.”[1]
• Expository sermon series’ for churches in conflict:
  • Beatitudes/Sermon on the Mount (helps people begin to own their own issues and refocuses on the KOG)
  • Nehemiah (good and clear change-agent taxonomy that begins with humility, confession, prayer, and planning)
  • 1 John (back to basics Christianity after a church split)
  • Philemon (reconciliation)
  • A series on the “one anothers” can also be quite helpful.

[1] Barnes: 134.

A Biblical Response To Each Dimension (1 of 3)

1. How To Identify and Address the Root Issue?

When Jesus (through John) addresses the seven churches in Revelation 2-3 the overall pattern is to identify the strengths of the churches and then to identify the sinful patterns:

• Ephesus: “but this I have against you” (Rev 2:4)
• Smyrna: “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches” (Rev 2:11)
• Pergamum: “But I have a few things against you” (Rev 2:14)
• Thyatira: “But I have this against you” (Rev 2:20)
• Sardis: “Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain” (Rev 3:2)
• Philadelphia: “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches” (Rev 3:13)
• Laodicea: “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.” (Rev 3:19)

Catalogue the strengths of a church and then address sins (i.e., conduct a strategic S.W.O.T.). We must identify the core congregational “sins of the fathers” (see Exodus 20:5, 34:7; Numbers 14:18; Nehemiah 1:6). This is particularly true of congregations born out of a split or involved in a prolonged or catastrophic conflict. Churches often face a multi-generational [sin] transmission process that will not be changed by the introduction of “new blood” – either lay or ordained.[1]

The VitalChurch Process

Therefore, it is quite helpful to employ some kind of diagnostic process. Engaging a third party, or as VitalChurch does — bring in a discernment team,  will provide an objective viewpoint as well as help the interim interventionist remain the “good cop.”

• Our Responsibility: Nehemiah 1:6b – “I and my father’s house have sinned.”
• Our Objective: 2 Corinthians 5:18 – “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
• Our Standard: Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all [people].”

A list of corporate sins one church confessed to in a church-wide Sacred Assembly:

1. Conflict avoidance
2. Poor processes and communication
3. Subtle pressure/perceived pressure and unhealthy loyalty by leaders
4. Lack of clear grievance procedures
5. Poor discernment
6. Lack of training for ministry leaders and participants
7. Gossip and relational triangulation
8. Moralism

[1] Friedman: 196.

The Upside of Conflict

The study by Psychometrics Canada, based in Edmonton, Alberta, concludes that conflict can actually benefit an organization when managed properly. The study finds that conflict can be a catalyst for better solutions, major innovations, increased motivation, and other workplace benefits. Specifically, the more than 350 HR professionals across Canada surveyed said conflict can lead to:

• Better understanding of others (77%)
• Better solutions to problems and challenges (57%)
• Higher work-team performance (40%)
• Increased motivation (31%)
• Major innovations (21%)